Dating:
The mother of a 17-year-old girl was concerned that her daughter was
having sex. Worried the girl might become pregnant and adversely impact the
family's status, she consulted the family doctor. The doctor told her
that teenagers today were very willful and any attempt to stop the girl would
probably result in rebellion. He then told her to arrange for her
daughter to be put on birth control and until then, talk to her and give her a
box of condoms.

Later that evening, as her daughter was preparing for a date, ; the
woman told her about the situation and handed her a box of condoms.

The girl burst out laughing and reached over to hug her mother saying:
"Oh Mom! You don't have to worry about that! I'm dating Susan!! "


Church:
A man went to church one day and afterward he stopped to shake the
preacher's hand. He said "Preacher, I'll tell you, that was a damned
fine
sermon. Damned good!"

The preacher said, "Thank you sir, but I'd rather you didn't use
profanity."

The man said, "I was so damned impressed with that sermon I put five
thousand dollars in the offering plate!"

The preacher said, "No shit?"


Pancakes:
Brenda and Steve took their six-year-old son to the doctor. With some
hesitation, they explained that although their little angel appeared to
be in good health, they were concerned about his rather small penis.

After examining the child, the doctor confidently declared, "Just feed
him pancakes.! That should solve the problem .."

The next morning when the boy arrived at breakfast, there was a large
stack of warm pancakes in the middle of the table.

"Gee, Mom," he exclaimed. "For me?"

"Just take two," Brenda replied. "The rest are for your father."