As a longtime critic of both children and antigladiator legislation, you'd think I'd love a Website that calculates how many five-year-old kids I could theoretically defeat in a street brawl. Sadly, this is not the case. Despite its promising concept, I see a lot of flaws in HowManyFiveYearOldsCouldYouTakeinaFight.com. I question its scientific validity.

After punching my personal data (and my self-styled fighting philosophies) into the site's prompts, I was informed that I could maul about seventeen kindergartners, assuming the skirmish took place in an enclosed basketball court and we all wore groin cups. Now, granted, this total does seem roughly accurate. However, I fear this Website only considers the "average" five-year-old. What if these youths are like the kids from season four of The Wire? They'd kill me instantly. What if these five-year-olds are like all those fat, PlayStation-obsessed brats I see on youth soccer fields across America? " Deleted ". Unless I see some real data showing what kind of five-year-olds I would be theoretically facing, I cannot support the soft methodology of this Website. I'm sorry, HowManyFiveYearOldsCouldYouTakeinaFight.com. Try again.


article:
http://www.esquire.com/features/chuc...-0408?click=pp

website:
HowManyFiveYearOldsCouldYouTakeinaFight.com.

 

Some days I feel I could lose to one

 

Dont be afraid to fight dirty; Eye gouges are good .

 

Sorry, Joey, I could take on 25 5-year-olds. I guess my moral compass points totally toward evil when it comes to fights.

 

being 14 i would probably take'm two at a time.(knock heads together)
But like you said it depends on the size and all that.
take a box of twinkies with you.(with some KO drugs in em'.
I WIN[sm=happy046.gif]
let's see
we'll say we bash heads at 2 kids per 5 sec.
thats 24 KPM(kindergarteners per minute)

 

The biggest problem with this as I see it is... 15 to 20 years from now when 25 of them come back for revenge... [sm=outcold.gif]

 

ROFL! I never that of that mopar 2 ya. Better take em out once for all.

 

I could whup 20 youngins![&:]n Oh jeez..

 

Why would I want to? Where is the honor and sport in that? I agree it isn't a good idea because kids at that age are vengeful. According to the test I would be ranked as being able to handle 18. A lot of it depends on how mad they make me. I'm not a very violent person until someone makes me really, really, really, really mad. I just about had to teach two of my cousins ages 12 and 15 a lesson once and despite the fact that they are trained wrestlers, they would have been out of luck because when you make me that mad, there are no rules beyond the obvious inappropriate areas to hit.