Long but worth reading. Thanks for sharing that Jeremiah. My parents did everything you listed and I was in the percentage of people who didn't have the listed problems. Beyond communion, I never had alcoholic beverages before I was 21 and neither did my older brother. Neither of us smoke or do any illegal drugs. Even though this is my fourth year in college, I still am yet to get drunk or even close because I simply don't see the point in drinking. My mother's side of the family is a different story. 50% or more are alcoholics and some have illegal drug addictions.

All of my dad's siblings are on their original marriage; however, on my mother's side, she is the only one who is still on her original marriage. The difference is this. My grandparents on my dad's side were very demanding but they put their kids first. They now enjoy visiting all of their 19 grandkids when they have the chance to get away. They had little money but they got by. I'm close to my grandparents and I visit them when I get the chance.

My grandparents on my mom's side were different. My grandmother did her part to take care of the kids, but my grandfather preferred to spend his time after work on his projects. He picked favorites as well. His favorite was my eldest aunt and he made that very obvious. It took nothing for her to statisfy my grandfather; meanwhile, my mother and her other sister had to fight for his attention. When my middle aunt (his least favorite) had some medical problems, he told her "your almost not worth how much this is costing me." In perspective, he had 3 times the income my other grandparents had with half the children to support.

My eldest aunt would bully my mother and her other sister (she burnt my other aunt with a car's cigarette lighter, once tied her to a wagon and put her out on a bussy street, beat up my mother, etc. and she was the one who told me about this) and everytime, he would believe his eldest. Guess which one has the most problems today? The eldest. For a while, she was unsure who her eldest daughter's father was, she is part of a cult, she divorced her husband just to return to the abusive alcoholic six years later, now seven years later she admits that remarrying him was a mistake.

My grandfather was the same as a grandfather as he was a father. The only one of my cousins he ever wanted to spend anytime with was my eldest cousin (who also has issues like her mother). He spent the least quality time with me out of all my cousins. His last words to me were "you put too much faith in God and that will get you killed someday." I don't miss him. He was more concerned about going gambling than he was interested in spending time with my brother and myself.

The problem with my grandfather was he wasn't there and when he was, he wasn't acting as the role of the father. A father should not pick favorites. My father doesn't have favorites, he treats both of us about the same. My father has his faults (he lets his temper get out of control & he blames us for his problems), but he was there for both of us when we needed him. He provided what we needed, not what we always wanted. He taught us not to be greedy and to value what was important in life. He brought us to church, provided us with an education, and gave us what time he had to spare for quality time. My mother stayed at home to make sure both of us had the attention we needed.