True character is revealed not by what a man does when people are watching but by what he does when nobody is around.

Point Man – Week #3 A bible study on a man leading his family based on the Steve Farrar book.

Well I hope everybody had a great week and enjoyed the lesson and found it helpful.
After all, we are talking about saving your family and last week we focused about saving the boys.

This week we will talk about men’s behavior toward saving our boys. Real men save their boys. Something that real men must not do if there is any hope of saving their boys is commit adultery. Adultery is being unfaithful, disloyal, dishonest, deceitful, and down right committing treason to your family. To call it an affair is just
doubletalk and what you are actually doing is leaving behind your responsibilities. Real men don’t have affairs because real men are responsible and keep their life long vows they made when their married their wives. An affair is an escape from reality, or a search for meaning outside the marriage. An affair is adultery plain and simple. The definition of adultery is: voluntary sexual intercourse between a married person and someone other than his or her lawful spouse or sexual intercourse between a husband and a woman who is not his wife or between a wife and a man who is not her husband.

What does the bible say about adultery?

Matthew 5:27 “You have heard that it was said, 'Do not commit adultery.”
Mark 10:11-12 "Anyone who divorces his wife and marries another woman commits adultery against her. 12And if she divorces her husband and marries another man, she commits adultery."

Okay so what starts the adultery process? It usually starts with discontent. Things have changed. It is not the way it used to be between the two of you when you were dating. You don’t have the good times, nor enjoy conversation anymore. You live in the same house and eat, sleep, and share the same bathroom but you are emotionally1000 miles apart. You just live together but the thrill is gone and you are just going through the motions of being married.

Now you meet this girl either on a business trip, school, office, church (yes I said church), and she looks hot and she is fun to be around. Boy this is when you get stuck in some dangerous river currents and you can’t get out.

Here are the signs you are about to drown:

1. Am I always thinking about our next meeting?
2. Do I look forward in a special way to meeting this person?
3. Do I want to meet with her away in a more relaxed environment?
4. Am I afraid that my coworkers, friends, family, neighbors, will find out I am meeting with this person?

If the answer is yes, then you as the Point Man better turn around, retreat, and run for your life because it is about to be destroyed along with your family

The problem is that men ask what is the harm in just talking to this person? The answer is that as you discuss your ideas, plans, and interests, you find an understanding and appreciation that has been lacking in your marriage. If you are struggling with your wife, then this friend will always be most understanding. So now why is that? Well, she sees all of your strong points and none of your weaknesses like your wife does? Sorry that is just plain reality.

So what happens is you get tired of battling at home and there is no battle with your friend and that is the attraction. Oh, by the way you also never see her weak points, and just her strong points and so things really look great on the other side of the fence.

Now you are emotionally hooked and you can still break away before you get physically hooked. How do you break away?

1. Realize you are in over your head. You have to retreat now.
2. Don’t make excuses to yourself and say, “ no big deal I can handle it”…..you are just lying to your soul.
3. Realize we are in great