One thing I would like to clear up, I definitely have accepted Jesus for all of my life. I have never and will never push him out, nor God. I just have pushed myself further away because of my wrong doings if that makes sense.

The part about going to the guy and asking for his forgiveness, in all reality, that's not what's bugging me. What bugs me is what I have done in the past to my wife, what I have done to my unborn children. Two different and yet the same events, they both have to do with my wife, but they weren't just from one event. I think that the unborn children are what has hurt me the most however. My wife and I only blame ourselves, her fault, my fault, but I believe it is in fact mine. I'm sure I can get over this, but it's just going to take time. That's not something most people with a concious would actually be able to get over in a hurry, though after a year you would think one would.