For a clean self-cauterizing method, place a cherry bomb as close to the straw stem as you can. Make sure to close your eyes, or you could get little chunks of nose cartilage lodged in them.
If you don’t have a Cherry bomb (or a replacement nose), use a drill bit (7/16 recommended) and be sure to remove all debris prior to returning to your local hardware store…. Ace perhaps? I hear they take back anything!

The very last suggestion is to add a second straw to the other side, and learning some cool tricks with table salt and air pressure..... Vegas, here we come!