Hmmm, got a few...
AMC - Always Mechanically Crap
BMW - Bowel Movement Wagon
CHEVROLET - Can Hear Every Valve Rattle On Long Extended Trips
DODGE - Drips Oil Drops Grease Everywhere
FORD... too numerous to mention
GMC - Generically Made Chevrolet
GTO - Gas, Tires & Oil
HONDA - Horrendously Overrated Nauseating Disgusting Automobile
HYUNDAI - How Your Usual Nerd Drives An Import
IROC - It's Really Only a Camaro
JEEP - Just Everybody's Extra Parts
MAZDA - Miserable Attempt at a Zero Defect Automobile
MOPAR - Mostly Old Parts And Rust
OLDSMOBILE - Old Leisurely Driven Sedan Made Of Buick's Irregular Leftover Equipment
PONTIAC - Poor Old Numbskull Thinks It's A Cadillac