Dodge Challenger Forums - If you need a really GOOD laugh!

It's a little long but well worth the read. I must warn you to please sit down when reading.

>>WHY DOES THIS SOUNDS LIKE SOMETHING, SOMEONE I KNOW WOULD DO ???

>>Stun gun ....... ONLY A GUY WOULD DO THIS.
>>
>>Pocket Taser Stun Gun, a great gift for the wife. This was submitted
>>by a

>>guy who purchased his lovely wife a "pocket Taser" for their
>>anniversary.
>>
>>Last weekend I saw something at Larry's Pistol & Pawn Shop that
>>sparked my interest. The occasion was our 22nd anniversary and I was
>>looking for a little something extra for my wife Toni. What I came
>>across was a 100,000-volt, pocket/purse-sized taser. The effects of
>>the taser were
suppose to
>>be short lived, with no long-term adverse affect on your assailant,
allowing
>>her adequate time to retreat to safety.... WAY TOO COOL!
>>
>>Long story short, I bought the device and brought it home. I loaded
>>two triple-a batteries in the darn thing and pushed the button.
>>Nothing! I was disappointed. I learned, however, that if I pushed
>>the button AND
pressed
>>it against a metal surface at the same time; I'd get the blue arch of
>>electricity >>darting back and forth between the prongs. Awesome!!!
Unfortunately, I
>>have yet to explain to Toni what that burn spot is on the face of her
>>microwave.
>>
>>Okay, so I was home alone with this new toy, thinking to myself that
>>it couldn't be all that bad with only two triple-a batteries,.
>>right?!!!
>>
>>There I sat in my recliner, my cat Gracie looking on intently
>>(trusting little soul) while I was reading the directions and
>>thinking that I
really needed
>>to try this thing out on a flesh & blood moving target. I must admit
>>I thought about zapping Gracie (for a fraction of a second) and
>>thought
better of
>>it. She is such a sweet cat. But, if I was going to give this thing
>>to
my
>>wife to protect herself against a mugger, I did want some assurance
>>that
it would
>>work as advertised. Am I wrong?
>>
>>So, there I sat in a pair of shorts and a tank top with my reading
>>glasses perched delicately on the bridge of my nose, directions in one
>>hand, taser

>>in another. The directions said that a one-second burst would shock
>>and disorient your assailant; a two-second burst was supposed to cause
>>muscle spasms and a major loss of bodily control; a three-second burst
>>would purportedly make your assailant flop on the ground like a fish
>>out of water. Any burst longer than three seconds would be wasting
>>the
batteries.
>>
>>All the while I'm looking at this little device measuring about 5"
>>long, less than 3/4 inch in circumference; pretty cute really and
>>loaded with
two
>>itsy, bitsy triple-a batteries) thinking to myself, "no possible
>>way!"
>>
>>What happened next is almost beyond description, but I'll do my
>>best.....
>>
>>I'm sitting there alone, Gracie looking on with her head cocked to one
>>side as to say, "don't do it master," reasoning that a one-second
>>burst
from such
>>a tiny little ole thing couldn't hurt all that bad.. I decided to
>>give myself a one-second burst just for the heck of it. I touched
>>the prongs
to my
>>naked thigh, pushed the button, and HOLY MOTHER, WEAPONS OF MASS
>>DESTRUCTION@!@$$!%!@*!!!
>>
>>I'm pretty sure Jessie Ventura ran in through the side door, picked me
>>up in the recliner, then body s