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If you need a really GOOD laugh!

Old 02-16-2006, 11:41 AM
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Default If you need a really GOOD laugh!

It's a little long but well worth the read. I must warn you to please sit down when reading.



>>WHY DOES THIS SOUNDS LIKE SOMETHING, SOMEONE I KNOW WOULD DO ???

>>Stun gun ....... ONLY A GUY WOULD DO THIS.
>>
>>Pocket Taser Stun Gun, a great gift for the wife. This was submitted
>>by a

>>guy who purchased his lovely wife a "pocket Taser" for their
>>anniversary.
>>
>>Last weekend I saw something at Larry's Pistol & Pawn Shop that
>>sparked my interest. The occasion was our 22nd anniversary and I was
>>looking for a little something extra for my wife Toni. What I came
>>across was a 100,000-volt, pocket/purse-sized taser. The effects of
>>the taser were
suppose to
>>be short lived, with no long-term adverse affect on your assailant,
allowing
>>her adequate time to retreat to safety.... WAY TOO COOL!
>>
>>Long story short, I bought the device and brought it home. I loaded
>>two triple-a batteries in the darn thing and pushed the button.
>>Nothing! I was disappointed. I learned, however, that if I pushed
>>the button AND
pressed
>>it against a metal surface at the same time; I'd get the blue arch of
>>electricity >>darting back and forth between the prongs. Awesome!!!
Unfortunately, I
>>have yet to explain to Toni what that burn spot is on the face of her
>>microwave.
>>
>>Okay, so I was home alone with this new toy, thinking to myself that
>>it couldn't be all that bad with only two triple-a batteries,.
>>right?!!!
>>
>>There I sat in my recliner, my cat Gracie looking on intently
>>(trusting little soul) while I was reading the directions and
>>thinking that I
really needed
>>to try this thing out on a flesh & blood moving target. I must admit
>>I thought about zapping Gracie (for a fraction of a second) and
>>thought
better of
>>it. She is such a sweet cat. But, if I was going to give this thing
>>to
my
>>wife to protect herself against a mugger, I did want some assurance
>>that
it would
>>work as advertised. Am I wrong?
>>
>>So, there I sat in a pair of shorts and a tank top with my reading
>>glasses perched delicately on the bridge of my nose, directions in one
>>hand, taser

>>in another. The directions said that a one-second burst would shock
>>and disorient your assailant; a two-second burst was supposed to cause
>>muscle spasms and a major loss of bodily control; a three-second burst
>>would purportedly make your assailant flop on the ground like a fish
>>out of water. Any burst longer than three seconds would be wasting
>>the
batteries.
>>
>>All the while I'm looking at this little device measuring about 5"
>>long, less than 3/4 inch in circumference; pretty cute really and
>>loaded with
two
>>itsy, bitsy triple-a batteries) thinking to myself, "no possible
>>way!"
>>
>>What happened next is almost beyond description, but I'll do my
>>best.....
>>
>>I'm sitting there alone, Gracie looking on with her head cocked to one
>>side as to say, "don't do it master," reasoning that a one-second
>>burst
from such
>>a tiny little ole thing couldn't hurt all that bad.. I decided to
>>give myself a one-second burst just for the heck of it. I touched
>>the prongs
to my
>>naked thigh, pushed the button, and HOLY MOTHER, WEAPONS OF MASS
>>[email protected][email protected]$$!%[email protected]*!!!
>>
>>I'm pretty sure Jessie Ventura ran in through the side door, picked me
>>up in the recliner, then body s
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Old 02-16-2006, 12:15 PM
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Default RE: If you need a really GOOD laugh!

HAHAHA. oh man, that is funny. Damn that curiosity. HAHAHAHA

I friend of mine has been hit by one because he is a in the Voluntary Sherriff's program and went to the class on how to properly use them. He said they make you get hit by one so you no what it can do. He said he dropped like lead and couldn't move for a few minutes. He was saying even the tough guys who said they can take it dropped.
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Old 02-16-2006, 01:00 PM
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Default RE: If you need a really GOOD laugh!

[sm=funnypostabove.gif]
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Old 02-17-2006, 07:34 AM
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Default RE: If you need a really GOOD laugh!

[sm=icon_rofl.gif] Oh man! That's just hillarious!
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Old 02-17-2006, 08:19 AM
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Default RE: If you need a really GOOD laugh!

That's a classic![sm=lol.gif]
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Old 02-17-2006, 06:19 PM
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Default RE: If you need a really GOOD laugh!

LOL! That is really good. I guess curosity killed the cat's owner!
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