Jeremiah 29:11

This is funny stuff:

http://www.flashfunpages.com/couple.swf

joeyr

A pastor told this one:


One day a boy and his mom was cleaning the house. On the coffee table they had a dusty bible. The boy asked his mom how did the book (bible) belong to. The mom said "its God's Book". The boy said, "its about time we give it back, nobody here never reads it."

MGDMike

Here's a Christmas joke:

Whats the difference between the Christmas alphabet and the regular alphabet?












































There's NO L.

Jeremiah 29:11

I haven't seen any blonde jokes here yet, so I will give you one. This is to make you laugh and not hurt anyones feelings.
Please enjoy.


A Californian blonde secretary is growing very tired of the comments and jeers about being blonde, and decided to take a nice long vacation to get away from it all.

She spent the first day at the salon, getting dolled up and dyed her hair black, no sense enduring the pain during the vacation.

She spends the next few days driving, and somewhere in the middle of Montana she comes across a large ranch. Literally hundreds of small fuzzy animals are scurrying about, and she pulls over to look at them.

The rancher is out tending his flock, and notices the woman parked near his fence. He decides to investigate; possibly this woman is having car trouble.

As he approaches the woman, she steps out of her car and says, "Those are the cutest things I have ever seen. What are they"?

Surprised by the question, he stifles back a laugh and replies, "Well ma'am, them there are sheep. Havent you ever seen a flock of sheep before"?

"No, I havent" says the woman, "I live in California in the city, this is my first visit to the country". "My God, I cant believe how cute they are, can I pet one"?

Amused, the rancher plays along. "Sure ma'am, come on over they dont bite."

After mingling with the sheep for a few moments, the woman is enamored with them and asks, "You have so many, would it be too much to ask if I can have one? I would love to have one as a pet."

Surprised by this, and still playing along the rancher tells her, "Well lets see, I suppose I could give you a chance. Tell you what, if you can guess exactly how many sheep I have in this field, I will let you have one."

"Really? Will you really? OMG let me see..." ...she is trying to count, but obviously having a hard time as there are so many. Finally, she says "I think you have 723 sheep".

The rancher is astounded at her luck, and he is an honest man. "Ma'am I cant believe it, but you are right. I do indeed have 723 sheep in this flock. A deal is a deal, go ahead and pick one out".

The woman runs out into the flock, spends a few moments making up her mind, and finally picks a medium sized one and carries it back to her car. "Thank you ever so much", she says, and gets ready to drive off.

"Uh, Ma'am... ma'am if you dont mind. I was fair to you, now its is my turn" says the rancher.

"What do you mean" says the now suspicious woman, "what are you suggesting"?

"Ma'am" says the rancher, "Just a question. If I can guess your true hair color, can I have my dog back"?

BootCamp

These make me wonder if we have an effective education system;
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=uEP7uti0PDw

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=rdt6w...eature=related

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=5C0i9SZqMgc

Staged, but funny:
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=7xYkiN4-gl8

Jeremiah 29:11

The Kelly Pickler one is funny and I actually saw it live. I really think she is smart but does not know a lot about the world. The South Carolina one
I think doesn't go to the top floor..........something about a bag of hammers.

MGDMike

LOL! "I know Turkey is country"

Yankee

A horse walks into a bar and the bartender asks him "why the long face?"

MGDMike

Oh jeez[&:]

tdub2112

i got one from the movie Cars

Lighting McQueen- Guys, Guys, Doc is a famous racecar! He won 3 Piston Cups!

Mater- HE DID WHAT IN HIS CUP!