A teacher gave her fifth grade class an assignment: Get their parents
to tell them a story with a moral at the end of it.

The next day the kids came back and one-by-one began to tell their
stories.

Johnny, do you have a story to share?", the teacher asked."Yes ma'am,"
Johnny replied.

"My daddy told me a story about my Aunt Nancy. She was a pilot in
Desert Storm and her plane got hit."She had to bail out over enemy
territory and all she had was a small flask of whiskey, a pistol, and a
survival knife.She drank the whiskey on the way down so it wouldn't
break, and then her parachute landed right in the middle of 20 enemy
troops. She shot 15 of them with the gun until she ran out of bullets,
killed 4 more with the knife till the blade broke, and then she killed
the last Iraqi with her bare hands."

"Good heavens," cried the horrified teacher. "What kind of moral did
your Daddy give you from this horrible story?"

"Stay the hell away from Aunt Nancy when she's drinking."

 

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Indian Chief, "Two Eagles," was asked by a white government official, "You have observed the white man for 90 years.You've seen his wars and his technological advances. You've seen his progress, and the damage he's done."

The Chief nodded in agreement.

The official continued, "Considering all these events, in your opinion, where did the white man go wrong?"

The Chief stared at the government official for over a minute, and then calmly replied;
"When white man find land, Indians running it. No taxes, no debt, plenty buffalo, plenty beaver, clean water, women did all the work. Medicine man work for free. Indian man spend all day hunting and fishing, and all night having sex."

Then the chief leaned back and smiled. "Only white man dumb enough to think he can improve system like that."