REGISTRATION MUST BE COMPLETED BY March 31, 2006

NOTE: DUE TO THE COMPLEXITY AND DIFFICULTY LEVEL OF THEIR CONTENTS, CLASS SIZES WILL BE LIMITED TO 8 PARTICIPANTS MAXIMUM.


Class 1
How To Fill Up The Ice Cube Trays
Step by Step, with Slide Presentation
Meets 4 weeks, Monday and Wednesday for 2 hours beginning at 7:00 PM

Class 2
The Toilet Paper Roll --- Does It Change Itself?
Round Table Discussion
Meets 2 weeks, Saturday 12:00 for 2 hours

Class 3
Is It Possible To Urinate Using The Technique Of Lifting The Seat and Avoid in The Floor, Walls and Nearby Bathtub?
Group Practice
Meets 4 weeks, Saturday 10:00 PM for 2 hours

Class 4
Fundamental Differences Between The Laundry Hamper and The Floor
Pictures and Explanatory Graphics
Meets Saturdays at 2:00 PM for 3 weeks

Class 5
After Dinner Dishes --- Can They Levitate and Fly Into The Kitchen Sink?
Examples on Video
Meets 4 weeks, Tuesday and Thursday for 2 hours beginning at 7:00 PM

Class 6
Loss Of Identity --- Losing The Remote To Your Significant Other
Help Line, Support and Support Groups
Meets 4 Weeks, Friday and Sunday 7:00 PM

Class 7
Learning How To Find Things --- Starting With Looking In The Right Places And Not Turning The House Upside Down While Screaming
Open Forum
Monday at 8:00 PM, 2 hours

Class 8
Health Watch --- Bringing Her Flowers Is Not Harmful To Your Health
Graphics and Audio Tapes
Three nights; Monday, Wednesday, Friday at 7:00 PM for 2 hours.

Class 9
Real Men Ask For Directions When Lost
Real Life Testimonials
Tuesdays at 6:00 PM Location to be determined

Class 10
Is It Genetically Impossible To Sit Quietly While She Parallel Parks?
Driving Simulations
4 weeks, Saturday's noon, 2 hours

Class 11
Learning to Live --- Basic Differences Between Mother and Wife
Online Classes and role-playing
Tuesdays at 7:00 PM

Class 12
How to be the Ideal Shopping Companion
Relaxation Exercises, Meditation and Breathing Techniques
Meets 4 weeks, Tuesday and Thursday for 2 hours beginning at 7:00 PM

Class 13
How to Fight Cerebral Atrophy --- Remembering Birthdays, Anniversaries and Other Important Dates and Calling When You're Going To Be Late
Cerebral Shock Therapy Sessions and Full Lobotomies Offered
Three nights; Monday, Wednesday, Friday at 7:00 PM for 2 hours

Class 14
The Stove/Oven --- What It Is and How It Is Used
Live Demonstration
Tuesdays at 6:00 PM

Upon completion of any of the above courses, diplomas will be issued to the survivors.

HAHA!!

~Amanda

 

I have to admit if it wasn't for my wife I'd weigh about 90 lbs. (all I can cook is microwave popcorn), And I would just go to Goodwill for clean clothes (but I can fix a broken washing machine), luckily we have an icemaker, I am almost house trained (paper, seat, aim!-paper, seat, aim!),I AM GOOD AT THE HAMPER THING!, uh dishes?....what dishes?, I have been known to suffer from control of the remote trauma, QUIT MOVING THINGS YOU'RE SCREWING UP MY FILING SYSTEM!, I thought sex WAS a substitute for flowers!, I am missing the ask for directions gene, OK honey watch the rims......... CUT IT HARD! CUT IT HARD! WATCH THE DAMNED RIMS!, mom's psyco, not a problem!, I'll just sit here on this bench (watch chicks) while you shop, Hey it's early alzheimers! Wow! Tuition is going to be expensive!

 

yeah...the kitchen, is mine...i ran a restaraunt for a while, and cooking is a hobby of mine...wehave a dishwasher...so if not for me, amanda would weight 90 pounds, well...hmm...60 pounds?

however when it comes to doing laundry...the last time that i tried to do laundry was in college, and we had a washer/dryer in the house...and i caught the dryer on fire...so i dont do any laundry...

 

A mans got to know his limitations. Best Clint Eastwood voice.

 

well, after that fire, which destroyed the wall behind the dryer, the ceiling, and the dryer itself...i would take laundry home..or my roommates would do it for me...

 

Interesting. I don't really have problems with most of these things. Maybe after college is over and your married, you suddenly forget how to do those things. Maybe it was the fact that my mother demanded me to do most of these things at a young age. I cook for myself all the time. I think nothing of it

 

well...i went to college and at 18, me and 4 ofmy buddies got our own house...and i dont know if any of those rules were followed..our crib made the animal house look like the hilton...