Good, glad to hear it.

 

True character is revealed not by what a man does when people are watching but by what he does when nobody is around.

Point Man – Week #3 A bible study on a man leading his family based on the Steve Farrar book.

Well I hope everybody had a great week and enjoyed the lesson and found it helpful.
After all, we are talking about saving your family and last week we focused about saving the boys.

This week we will talk about men’s behavior toward saving our boys. Real men save their boys. Something that real men must not do if there is any hope of saving their boys is commit adultery. Adultery is being unfaithful, disloyal, dishonest, deceitful, and down right committing treason to your family. To call it an affair is just
doubletalk and what you are actually doing is leaving behind your responsibilities. Real men don’t have affairs because real men are responsible and keep their life long vows they made when their married their wives. An affair is an escape from reality, or a search for meaning outside the marriage. An affair is adultery plain and simple. The definition of adultery is: voluntary sexual intercourse between a married person and someone other than his or her lawful spouse or sexual intercourse between a husband and a woman who is not his wife or between a wife and a man who is not her husband.

What does the bible say about adultery?

Matthew 5:27 “You have heard that it was said, 'Do not commit adultery.”
Mark 10:11-12 "Anyone who divorces his wife and marries another woman commits adultery against her. 12And if she divorces her husband and marries another man, she commits adultery."

Okay so what starts the adultery process? It usually starts with discontent. Things have changed. It is not the way it used to be between the two of you when you were dating. You don’t have the good times, nor enjoy conversation anymore. You live in the same house and eat, sleep, and share the same bathroom but you are emotionally1000 miles apart. You just live together but the thrill is gone and you are just going through the motions of being married.

Now you meet this girl either on a business trip, school, office, church (yes I said church), and she looks hot and she is fun to be around. Boy this is when you get stuck in some dangerous river currents and you can’t get out.

Here are the signs you are about to drown:

1. Am I always thinking about our next meeting?
2. Do I look forward in a special way to meeting this person?
3. Do I want to meet with her away in a more relaxed environment?
4. Am I afraid that my coworkers, friends, family, neighbors, will find out I am meeting with this person?

If the answer is yes, then you as the Point Man better turn around, retreat, and run for your life because it is about to be destroyed along with your family

The problem is that men ask what is the harm in just talking to this person? The answer is that as you discuss your ideas, plans, and interests, you find an understanding and appreciation that has been lacking in your marriage. If you are struggling with your wife, then this friend will always be most understanding. So now why is that? Well, she sees all of your strong points and none of your weaknesses like your wife does? Sorry that is just plain reality.

So what happens is you get tired of battling at home and there is no battle with your friend and that is the attraction. Oh, by the way you also never see her weak points, and just her strong points and so things really look great on the other side of the fence.

Now you are emotionally hooked and you can still break away before you get physically hooked. How do you break away?

1. Realize you are in over your head. You have to retreat now.
2. Don’t make excuses to yourself and say, “ no big deal I can handle it”…..you are just lying to your soul.
3. Realize we are in great

 

Valuable lesson. From what I have observed, this is how things happen. They claim it is innocent talking then it leads to more and more and more and more until they have commited adultery. Thanks for sharing. Keep them coming.

 

Very good post, Jeremiah. I truly enjoyed reading it and apologize for posting not more often. I would not mind adding my opinion.

Remembering that whether it is the man or woman who cheats, it stills needs to be realized that it is a conscious effort for both parties (the married person and the other man or woman) who to do so. In that, there is never an excuse of adultery. No matter how attractive the other person is or run down the marriage is. Communication is the number one roadblock and marriages, not sex and money, most instances talking about those subjects would resolve them. Also we must not fall into siphoning that just the men on this topic because unfortunately woman are (in our society) treated as less than a man (I know this is a topic about men but if the woman is not fulfilled she could falter as well ) . My grandmother told my mom at a very young age that,

“If you see a man getting drunk, and womanizing, he could walk up and down the street and showcase that fact and next day while some people may dislike him and even call him a dog, they would still treat him like a man [sm=partyparty.gif]. But if a woman does the same thing, she is called a whore or slut or worse, by man and woman alike.”

Women who are in the cheating equation are considered low. Sometimes even the ones who are cheated on. You’d be surprised the number of people who blame the wife for not “pleasing her man” or “taking care of hers.” And another thing [sm=rant.gif] Why do some people get angry always attack the person who wanted to take their spouse (I understand psychologically but it still doesn’t make sense rationally, I guess love never does) instead of dealing with their spouse.

But lack of love is the most discerning thing in the relationship.

Ephesians 5:25: Husbands, love your wives, just as Christ loved the church and gave himself up for her

So if you love your job more than your wife or even the church more than wife, this means you do not love your wife like Christ loved the church, which means you have no love for Christ. And sadly, this often extends to the children.

For Christians obeying Gods word is a must for ensuring the future of your children for God said he would :

“… punish the children for the sin of the fathers to the third and fourth generation of those who hate me, but showing love to a thousand {generations} of those who love me and keep my commandments.” (Exodus 20:5-7)

If you are a Christian who wants to have children that are truly blessed by god, keep God’s commandants. But in doing this your love would extend not only to our wives but to our neighbors, and even our enemies.

Luke 6:32: "If you love those who love you, what credit is that to you? Even 'sinners' love those who love them.

But if you obey his commandants, “When a man's ways please the LORD, he maketh even his enemies to be at peace with him.” (Proverbs 16:7).

Because for God obedience is essential:
To obey is better than sacrifice, and to heed is better than the fat of rams. (I Samuel 15:22)

So to have Children that will grow up to value their companion, you must teach them to obey God’s commandments, the greatest of which is to love God and one another. Without love for others people will only love and worry about themselves.

 

This is great and very helpful for those who wish to know the truth in what a man is.The world has its description and then the bible has its description. To know the difference is truly valuable. I hope this helps those who were raised in a home where they did not get to see the right side of a real man. I was very fortunate to have been raised in a loving Christian home and have strived to raise my boys the same way. My father and mother are wonderful people and I'm proud to call them my closest freinds too. My sons are just great kids and continue to bring joy into my life. If theirs proof needed, then take my word, the things I have read in the Bible and put into practice have made all the difference. Life is good. Thanks for the reminder of what a real man is.

 

RLSH700.....I will try to keep them coming every weekend.

 

lear4406, joeyr, and RLSH700

It sure is good to know you guys are there and thanks for your responses.

 

Jeremiah 29:11,

I enjoy reading your posts on living a Christian life. Good idea to post them on Sunday, the day of rest, when all of us should get off the fast train of life and reflect on our Christian lives.

I am a happily married man, with a wonderful wife, two 20 something young adults, a girl and a boy.
We enjoy each others company, love having family dinners together when ever possible and have an open communicative relationship.

My daughter is now overseas in the U.K pursuing her jounalistic career and my son is becoming an independent strong professional in the hairdressing business. My wife and I support our children in their endeavors and have always fostered an strong independence in them.....they must grow up to become their own adults making their own adult decisions.

However, even today, the children look to us for guidance and support. It is a natural think for children to look up to their parents and live a good, honest life.

Please keep up your postings. It is a joy to see their are many other beautiful couples out there who are leading their families in the correct way.

BTW, tonight, my wife and I went to a local coffee house to enjoy each others company while drinking coffee and sharing dessert. Some quiet quality time together. [sm=kissykissy.gif]

 

You're welcome and thank you Jeremiah for making this. We were fortunate to have a good up bringing and having people like you helping our parents to reinforce their lessons in religion class.

joeyr, it is funny that you should bring that up because I was just thinking about that not too long ago. There was a song where a person's spouse (or maybe significant other, I don't know) was cheating and the song indicated that all the person could think of to do was to go after the person whom the spouse was cheating with. Then the end indicates that the person acted like nothing had happened and let the awful spouse play their tricks on them. When I was thinking about this, I thought "what a fool." If I was in that character's shoes, I would have said, "Oh no you don't sweetheart! Despite what you think, I don't have "Moron" written on my forehead. You were unfaithful to me, and you're not going to get away with it by telling me your attracted to me."

Both party members deserve equal blame. I agree that all too often in our circles a man gets away with doing this crap, and sometimes gets complimented for it ("congrats man, you got her [use your imagination here].") When I hear this, it makes me sick. Cheating is not something to be proud of, it is something to be ashamed of. However, I can tell you that sometimes women also get off too easily as well.

A girl I knew had a reputation for being one who was, well, easy. All the other guys would kiss up to her like she was the only woman still alive. I personally never liked her because she was too shallow for my taste and there were other things about her (which I will not discuss in order to remain polite and suitable for PG rated audiences) that were the conflicted with my taste. She got praised by everyone all the time despite the fact that she was known to cheat on her boyfriends. She managed to break almost every friendship made in our group apart by cheating with the best friend of her current boyfriend over and over again. The annoying factor was, no one ever blamed her. I was the only one would stand up and point out what was going on, and guess who the bad guy? Me, the messenger. They still treated her like she was the only girl in the universe, and the sad thing was she was at the top of the pecking order over the girls, so the girls didn't get on her case either. It wasn't until years later that they discovered that I was right. This is the reason why I won't date girls who are unfaithful. If they are unfaithful now against their current boyfriend, they will eventually be unfaithful against me.

Another thing, both males and females need to learn to stop talking about whom they think is attractive while their significant other is around. It is one of the most rude things you can do to your significant other. A good indicator of whether or not it is appropriate to talk about this while they are around is if you wouldn't mind if your significant other talked about how attractive another person is while your around. I don't know why people think it is okay to do this, but I find that incredibly rude and to be a personal insult.[sm=rant.gif]

Sorry for going on about this topic, I'm kind of irritated about this subject right now due to events which are currently going on in my life.

 

Thanks for doing this Forum Jeremiah, it allows me to have "bible study" throughout the week. And blu angel, quality time eh, [sm=happy046.gif].

Yes! I hate that too. I thought was the only one, lol. I think that is truly disrespectiful. Before Katrina, I was in a relationship with this girl I had a class with at my university, she was nice, sweet, and funny, but she always would ask me if i thought a girl (whom she thought was prettier than she) was attractive or who kept telling me who she thought was attractve, or the worst [sm=headbang.gif] tell me about her lowdown cheating ex's. I always told her I only have eyes for who im with, any crushes or anything along those lines go out the window. ( I had to let Halle Berry and Alica Keys go, it would've worked anyway. They probably would worry about someone stealing me away from them, I dont want to start any hollywood drama. They didnt realize it yet, lol [sm=bicker.gif]) Still, it wasnt enough. Eventually, the distance after me evacuating got between us and we broke up, I missed her but not all of the questions.